This story is a tricky one to tell, because there are several perspectives. My dad should tell his story. Jason should tell his. I will write mine.
Thurs, March 20 - I hear that my dad (aka Pops), who has been traveling in Morocco, crashed on his bike, and is in hospital. My brothers spend the next few days trying to connect with him to learn more details.
We learn that he fell off his bike, broke 6 ribs on his left side, had a pneumothorax (collapsed lung), and had a chest tube in.
Being Spring break, we look into the cost of going to visit but it's way too expensive and it seems that dad is going to live to tell the tale without any long term effects.
My eldest brother Tony learns that my dad's travel insurance policy will pay for a family member to travel to Morocco to help Pops, if he is in hospital for 7 days. We assume that he won't be in hospital too much beyond 7 days, but Tony looks into his options for making the trip.
Wed March 26 - Jason and I wake up and prepare to pack for our upcoming spring break vacation: cross country skiing in Granby, CO. We make lists and I send Jason to the store for groceries while I get kids clothing organized with the girls. Tony calls and tells me that Pops has now been in hospital over 7 days. His chest tube has been removed and now they will keep him in hospital at least 7 more days for monitoring. Although we know that Pops is safe, we are concerned that Pops is bored and lonely, since he knows nobody there and is just lying in a bed. The travel insurance will pay for a family member to go and we want someone to go, but Tony cannot leave Canada for another 5-6 days.
I text Jason at the grocery store (9:19am): 'Dad is still in Morroco and insurance would pay for someone to go. Any chance you want to go ASAP and could you take next week off school?'
Jason comes home. We decide he should go. He and Tony spend a lot of time sorting out the details and the next possible flight scenario is booked. Jason is scheduled to leave at 4:30pm from the Denver airport. Bus leaves at 2:20pm. I'm supposed to work so I reschedule my patients for the afternoon so I can get Jason to the bus and watch the girls.
It's here that Jason should take over and write all about packing, luggage, seeing his mom, arriving in Agadir, seeing pops in the hospital, and adventures nearby.
At home, we were desperate for any news so eventually seeing pops and hearing his voice via FaceTime was awesome. When Jason arrived, pops hadn't been out of bed for 9 days and was weak. But each day he got stronger. We weren't sure when pops would be cleared to fly and when they would fly home. The unknown time frame on it all made me very anxious.
I ended up having the girls for 12 nights by myself. Maybe for some people, that's not that crazy. To us, that's pretty big. I'm actually really happy with how I coped... Especially once Jason had a return trip booked and I was in count-down mode. Work was especially busy at this time and we didn't have any planning time to organize help. Again, it made me wish we had a parent or sibling near by, but we don't. It's pretty much just us, no matter what.
I'm not sure how single parents do it. Most of my life and my conversations with friends now are about figuring out how to parent and still balance some other part of yourself - your household, your marriage, your health (sleep, eat, exercise), work, a social life... Every new parent I know struggles with this balance and how to make it work.
I have learned (and am still learning) that for me to cope and be happy, I need to ask for help. I grew up never asking for help. Ever. I wanted to be fiercely independent. I was taught not to impose. I would struggle through impossible things in order to avoid asking for help or putting someone out. I thought success meant doing it myself (except while on the field with a team). I'm getting better. Most of the time, I don't recognize that help would be a good thing and don't think to ask, but when it comes to watching my kids, I'm starting to get much more comfortable. And thank goodness! It makes life much easier.
When Rachel was born, we lived in Penticton and didn't have immediate family around to help us. We had each other and did most things together as a family. But I had friends and was social and felt supported, even if I didn't really feel like we had a babysitter option for more than 1-2 hours.
Moving to Colorado was tough because we had very little support. We didn't go out on a real date until Rachel was 14 months old and it felt so complicated and expensive we didn't do it again for another 3 months.
In the last 12 days, though, I'm very proud of myself because I asked for help. And having help and support around me has made me feel more comfortable here. I've done gym daycare twice so I could swim. I had a friend watch the kids so I could attend a work meeting. I went to a cousin's for dinner. I had a cousin watch Rachel while I took Ava to her sign language class. I had a friend watch the kids twice so I could run and get groceries. I also leaned on a couple close friends and family for emotional support. So I feel like I have had loads of help and it has all gone quite well.
That's only the beginning of all the help we've had. Jason's staff covered all sorts of things while he was out of school this last week, and a coworker will pick him up at the airport so I can stay home with the sleeping kids. I know my brothers have done a lot of time on the phone and my dad himself was well taken care of.
So thank you, to all the angels out there, who have helped my dad and husband get back home safely. Thank you to the community of people who are helping raise my children, because one or two adults is not enough people to do it.
And let's all remember to ask for help and to lend a hand when we can, because things are much easier when we all work together.
This little adventure started out a bit crazy, and a bit scary, but once the dust settles down, it's going to be a great story. Jason and my Dad had some amazing adventures, and some quality time together. I learned a lot about myself and my girls, and I'm thankful on how it all turned out.
