January 30, 2013

The Terrific Twos

An update on our crazy world and our crazy kid...

Pregnancy
I'm 18 weeks along, feeling well, and all seems fine. I'm just starting to show and think I've felt a bit of movement from the baby.  We have an ultrasound next week but won't be finding out the gender.  I keep hoping to join a prenatal yoga class, but so far I've been to just one.

Rachel's fun and favorite things
Rachel is really hilarious, and makes us laugh every day.  She's really interested in singing the ABCs, trying to count everything, trying to recognize letters and numbers, putting her dolls or any object to sleep under many blankets, hanging up clothing on a clothes hanger, pooping in the middle of the night, reading books, being chased, eating, snuggling.

Snuggling is, in fact, such an interest of hers that it is a serious workout to detach her monkey arms and legs from my body if I want to get anything done.  For the last 5 weeks, every minute that I have been home she has been attached to me or crying or asleep or strapped into a car seat or her eating chair.  The last two nights finally seem to have seen a renewed interest in regular play and hanging out with Daddy.

Things she is not so interested in: sleeping, wearing clothes, having anyone wash/rinse/touch/brush/style her hair, wearing enough clothing appropriate for a cold winter, staying in her bed, sleeping under blankets, going anywhere in a hurry, transitioning from one activity to another, using the potty, having her diaper changed, wearing shoes, wearing socks, wearing a coat.

Rachel is being a very typical 2 year old only child that is running the show.  She is very particular about how things have to go, and we try to pick our battles.  For example, it's ok with us that she'll only eat her bagel when it flies across the room, makes plane noises, spins around, and lands on a green plastic plate that's just in the right place on her place mat.  And if she take 40 minutes to get dressed when we have to leave for school, a full wrestling match and serious pressure to keep her down so we can get her dressed is appropriate even if she's screaming the whole time and spends the next 5 minutes undressing the newly donned clothes while I try to buckle her car seat or chariot buckle over her first.

I think it's fair to say that she usually wins, and is succeeding in the 2 year old attention seeking and parent manipulating behaviours... it's hard to keep up and stay one step ahead of her.

Jason's job
Is crazy busy.  Jason is teaching blocks 2,3,4,5,6,7 and not teaching blocks 1 or 8 this semester, which means he gets no lunch and no social time with other teachers.  He has frequent evening meetings, early morning meetings, lunch meetings, field trips, conferences out of town.  He's even going to California in April to take some kids to a national conference.  He's in charge of the school credit union, school store, FBLA and DECA clubs.  He's the tech rep (computer geek for other teachers who can't use computers) and a 'google ninga' (some other dorky computer geek thing that helps other teachers).

Other teachers love him and he's great at his job, but we're looking for ways to make next year less hectic so he isn't always on the go all over the place.

Meggan's job
Business is booming at Altitude PT.  Since early December, our phones have been ringing like crazy and it's been hard not to work overtime every week.  I'm often behind.  I've recently put the word out there that I need to slow down, change my schedule, and cut back in some way because it's too much.  Although I'm really proud of myself for this, it's hard to know quite how it will actually play out.  I've cut back my hours starting the week of Feb 18.  However, I might move those hours over to Friday just to be able to avoid working nights and see Rachel more in the evenings.  If I don't add hours on Friday, I will lose my benefits, make less obviously, and have to pay to join Jason's health insurance plan.

We are still discussing what my job options will be after my unpaid 12 week mat leave June 19-Sept 30.  I'm aiming to work 3 mornings per week, but this may or may not be possible.

I have my board exams on March 15 and feel quite behind in my review.  I have been working hard a putting in hours of study time, but it never feels like it's enough and each week I fall further behind.  I need the next 6 weeks to be very disciplined.

Sleeping
Sleeping is still a disaster, but we do have a few coping strategies that are making life a little easier.  We are taking turns sleeping in the guest room bed in the basement, so that at least every other night one of us gets to sleep.

As far as strategies go, it feels like we have tried everything.  Bringing her into our bed, sleeping beside her, leaving her to cry, ignoring her crying for hours, locking her in her room, lights on, lights off, fan on, fan off, stuffed animals in, stuffed animals out, noise on, noise off, night light on, no night light, heater on, heater out, many layers of clothing, different blankets in different locations, etc.

She is good at stalling, and will make many requests to try and get an adult to stay with her longer.  Requests can include the following, to which we try and say 'No, Rachel, it's night night time."  Over and over and over.
"Hug me!"
"I want to snuggle in the chair"
"I pooped in my diaper"  (true about half the time)
"I need something from my playroom"
"I want the fan off"
"I'm cold"
"I want a bagel"
"I'm hot"
"I need a drink of water"
"Do you want to put my blankets on me?"
"I want my step stool"
"I want my light on"
"I want to read stories"
"I want to play"
"I want to sleep in your bed"
"I don't want to sleep"

We have tried two different things recently.  First, we put her crib back together yesterday.  Although she had slept well in her day bed from August until November, a crib seemed like a much easier option for us.  The railings would force her to sleep in her crib, possibly putting her closer to her blankets and keeping her warm.  Plus, to go in and check on her I could use my voice to calm her and perhaps a quick peek to inspect her diaper, without having to pick her up.  If she is asleep on the floor, opening the door requires a pick up and it can take major effort, injury, and screaming to pry her clinging arms off me when I try to leave the room.  So last night, the crib seemed to be a great idea.  This evening, however, she figured out how to climb out of it and I only had the energy to put her back in it 4 times in a row before giving in to the idea that she will sleep on the floor forever more.

The second thing we started trying tonight is a bedtime snack.  Many people have asked if Rachel might be hungry in the night.  Possibly.  Certainly we know Rachel has a crazy metabolism, eats frequently, eats well, and often eats quite a lot.  We know Rachel has had trouble getting through phases before because she was hungry.  Solving this one is a little tricky though, and requires more effort in our evening routine than we might be able to keep up with.

I'll explain.  Jason picks Rachel up 3 nights per week while Meggan works late and he and Rachel get home by about 5:30pm.  If dinner is not ready to go in 3 minutes, Rachel is given a snack because she is hungry and because she is then strapped into her chair and Jason can go about making dinner.  Often dinner is not ready until after 6pm, and then it takes 30 minutes for Rachel to eat it.  Let's assume dinner is over at 6:30pm.  We usually play for a while and then start bedtime routine at about 7:20pm so that Rachel can have lights out and scream at her door ... oops I mean 'sleep'... by 8pm.  So when do we fit in bedtime snack?  The ideal answer is to have her eating dinner at 5pm, but that really isn't realistic 3 nights per week.  So if we can get meals prepped the night before or the weekend before and have them all cooked, then Rachel could eat proper dinner by about 5:40pm.  She could then have bedtime snack at 7:30pm, and perhaps this would help her get through the night.  We're hoping to try harder to have meals cooked ahead of time and try bedtime snack.  This requires major organization - something we've really lacked recently.

Potty training
You may remember we were relatively successful with our first potty training attempt, which Rachel initiated stubbornly on her 2nd birthday in October.  She did quite well until about mid November, when things all fell apart and she refused to use the potty and requested diapers again.  Daycare was struggling with forcing her on to the potty, so we all agreed to revert back to diapers and try again later.
Daycare recommended a 30 day countdown calendar.  Every day we put a sticker on a calendar to count down to the BIG day on which Rachel would wear underpants and only wear diapers at night.

We started the 30 day countdown at the beginning of January, and the BIG day will be this Friday, Feb 1st.  We're terrified and pessimistic because Rachel's sleeping is going so badly that it doesn't seem like a great time to ask anything of her and we have no patience.  We're praying that, but some miracle, this one thing will be a success and that February will be the start of a whole new world for Rachel.

Fun and Exercise
Jason runs Wed nights and occasionally gets another 15-20 min run in around the neighbourhood.  I've been to one yoga class in the last month, been for 3 runs less than 20 min, been on the bike trainer 2 times, and today I swam 1000m.  First swim in almost 6 months and felt great!  We have skied 3-4 days, walked a bit, and I went snowshoeing with Rachel last weekend.  I'd say we're in about the worst shape of our lives.

The local resorts have finally had some snow recently and we are planning to head up this weekend, despite the difficulty it might pose on potty training.  We are hoping to get some downhill skiing in and try to resume a more regular workout routine of some kind next month.

Mental Health
As you can tell, we're struggling a little.  Each day we remind ourselves that all the important things are good.  We're all healthy.  We have a lovely house.  We're each lucky to have jobs.  We love each other.  We have loving friends and family.  Rachel is a delight and a blessing, even though it is fun to laugh at all the challenges she poses.  We're a little bit apprehensive about the upcoming few months, and hoping that our sleeping world can improve before a newborn arrives on the scene and guarantees us disturbed sleep for some months to come.

Thanks for reading this far and sharing in the joys, adventures, and struggles in our lives.  I do my best to make these things funny, since it's my only hope right now in getting through each day.  This blog is our best way to stay connected to friends and family and to give some honest insight and reflection to our own lives.

Wishing you all a fabulous February!

January 23, 2013

Crested Butte Avalanche Course

So we drove Thursday night to Crested Butte, arriving at about 1am.  We stayed with our friend Sarah's brother Chris, although we actually did not see him because we snuck in late, crashed on the floor, and left by 7:30am.

Along the drive we continued to get updates from Aunt Karen back home with sick Rachel.  They had gone to the doctor, had some tests, and went to the hospital for a chest xray.  A while later we learned that Rachel had a little bit of pneumonia and RSV (virus that produces bronchitis and gives you a cough).  Poor Aunt Karen had to alternate giving her medicine every 3 hours throughout the night on Thursday, and was giving instructions to take Rachel straight to the ER if anything should change for the worse.  Thankfully, Aunt Cynthia and cousin Kelly came to spend the night at the house as well for support, in case anything did go wrong.

I'm still pretty surprised that Jason and I actually left town given all that was going on.  I'm sure some would judge us harshly for doing so.  But there were several things that lead us to this decision:

1) Aunt Karen is a very smart, calm, resourceful person and we trust her completely
2) Aunt Cynthia, cousin Kelly, cousin Kelsey, and cousin Jeannie all happened to be around for added support
3) Jason and I have really needed some time away together and had been looking forward to this for months
4) We have paid a lot of money for the course itself, time away from work, bringing Karen in from California, renting Karen a car, etc.
5) Being pregnant, I only have so many ski days left in me and I don't expect I'll be able to get away without kids for some time to come in the future.  We've been away from Rachel for 1 night before and I think that's it... so if it takes us another 2 + years to get another few nights away, our opportunities are limited.
6) We have been really exhausted, stressed, frustrated with Rachel and lack of sleep, missing each other, and needed to have a break from being parents in the worst way.

So, judge away if you will.  It was a hard decision.

Friday morning we got the update that Rachel had slept well (thanks to her meds) all night, even though we knew Aunt Karen had not had much sleep.

At 8am we arrived at the mountain guides office to meet our guide and our group.  At this point I was nervous, not sure if we should go or not, but very excited as well.  There were 3 couples taking the course and one guide named Jake.




At about 9:30am, we said goodbye to Aunt Karen, left our cell phones in the car, and donned skins on our skis.  We skinned about 3 miles to arrive at our 'hut' for lunch.  This was the most luxurious hut we had ever been in.  Electric heat.  Running water.  4 bedrooms upstairs.  A full kitchen downstairs.  A shoveled path to the outdoor outhouse.  Snacks and hot drinks going most of the time.  Luxury!


We spent the afternoon doing beacon / rescue practice in the snow next to the hut, learning different search techniques and the best ways to find someone should they be caught in an avalanche.  That evening, we had a nice dinner and had a few lectures on snow, weather, terrain, etc.

We slept that night from about 9:30pm until 6:30am and we felt as though we were in heaven.  Best sleep we've had ... well... in a very long time.  Certainly since November we have not slept through the night, and it felt fantastic.

Saturday we had some more lectures, and also a skin/tour to go look at different snow conditions and learn about safe and not-so-safe slopes.  We skinned up one hillside and happened to see an avalanche on the opposite face of Gothic Mountain (the one behind the hut in these pictures).  An amazing learning experience, and great to see it from a safe position on another mountain, but close enough to learn what might cause one and what it might look like.






After hiking up a slope, we had lunch and learned to dig pits in order to assess the safety of the different snow layers.  We hiked a little more, and the removed our skins for our descent.  This is the part where my ego got crushed.  Skiing down, with a small pack on, in variable conditions, with 6 other people watching was intimidating.  I had several falls and felt like I was learning to ski all over again.  I snow-plowed down our skin track and felt my legs dying.  Finally we hit some lovely powder and enjoyed the excitement and grace of fresh tracks on the last part of our descent, even though I fell again here.


Saturday night we had some more lectures and got to know our other course participants better with games, dinner and fun stories.

Sunday we packed up, had our last lectures, and left the hut. Our packs felt heavy and we went out for a long tour.  I felt good on the climbs and learned a lot about making kick-turns to get up the switchbacks of the mountain.  We went up to 11,400ft for lunch.  We skinned for about 5.5 hours before we found our descent.  An easy ski down the road and then a little bit of fresh snow was about all I could handle with sore legs and a full pack.  But it was beautiful around us and the weather was excellent.









We returned to our car at about 4:15pm, had a short debrief meeting and changed, and left town.  We arrived back home in Lafayette at 10pm to get the updates from Aunt Karen.  Rachel was already asleep, and was back to her old habits of turning her light on, blinds open, and falling asleep on the carpet by her bedroom door without any blankets on.  She woke up again at about 1am and wanted to snuggle and play.

The avalanche course and hut adventure was a huge success, and we were thrilled by the experience.  We will forever be in debt to Karen for her amazing care of Rachel for 3 days and 3 nights including a significant medication regime and not a lot of sleep.

Jason and Karen went skiing at Copper Mountain Resort on Monday (MLK holiday) while Meggan worked.  Rachel was deemed safe to return to school and seemed to be a very energetic and happy little girl.  Monday night we got together with extended family for a lovely dinner.

Work and the 'real world' are kicking our butts this week.

Rachel continues to get up in the middle of the night and frustrate and exhaust us.  But we are thankful that she is healthy.  We are thankful that we got to go play in the mountains.  And we are thankful for each other and our wonderful extended family.

Sick little gal

So... you may remember we've recently been sleep deprived and Rachel refuses to sleep in her crib with any blankets on.

Tuesday afternoon, daycare reported that Rachel had a bit of a cough that we might want to watch.  Tuesday night at 10:30pm, she woke up crying.  I went in, frustrated that she was already awake, to find her burning up with a bad fever.  I brought her into our bed for the 3rd night in a row, sure we would never sleep without her in our bed again.  We couldn't find our thermometer to measure her temperature, but decided she was too sick to attend school on Wed.

Now, we don't have any immediate family in the area.  We have two cousins but they both work.  We have no back up care option when daycare is not an option.  These are the days when we wished so badly that a grandparent or sibling might live nearby.  But instead one of us parents has to call in sick.  It's a stressful thing.  Jason has sick days and can get a substitute teacher... if and only if he is prepared for the upcoming day and could tell a sub what to do.  I (Meggan) get 2 sick days per year and have used them up already.  My first patient was at 7am and I did not bring any notes home so I did not have access to any patient's phone numbers to contact them.  My receptionist started Wed at 8:30am.

After some discussion, it was decided that I would try to get patients' phone numbers but if I couldn't get through to people (which I couldn't) then I would have to take Rachel to work with me until I could cancel the remainder of my patients.

So we packed up toys, diapers, snacks, water, extra clothes, and children's tylenol and headed to work at 6:10am to treat my first few people.  Rachel played on the floor beside my treatment bed while I treated my first few people.  Any chance I had, I called the rest of my patients and canceled who I could.  I saw three people and then left work.  Aunt Cynthia was in town visiting from Virginia so she came over for a while to play and allow me to get a few things done at the house.  Rachel was happy and energetic and playful, but had a funny cough now and then.

Wed night we started debating who might call in sick on Thursday.  Neither of us wanted to.  Jason had student presentations to hear and grade.  I had patients that I had moved from Wed schedule to Thursday schedule and had a very busy Thursday planned.

Wed evening at 7:30pm Rachel had a temperature of 104F.  We started her on medication right away and it brought her fever down.  It also made her pass out.  When she woke hours later, we gave her more medication.  She was in our bed again, but seemed more sick.

Thursday morning she came to work with me.  She slept on my back in her ergo carrier for nearly two hours, which have me the ability to treat 4 people relatively unscathed.  I actually did an entirely thorough lumbar spine/pelvis assessment for a brand new client while Rachel slept on me.  I was pretty impressed with myself, even though I am not entirely certain the patient thought it was the most professional visit.  Rachel sat on my lap while I treated two more people's necks.  She livened up a little and played while I treated one more person, and they were very sweet to take her offers of pretend pizza slices and carrot slices from her 'store'.

At 11:30am, managing to survive my morning and only cancel a few of my more labor intensive people, I dropped Rachel off with her car seat at Aunt Cynthia's and raced back to work for my next 10 patients.  Aunt Cynthia did lunch, played and did more medication before Aunt Karen arrived in from California to save the day.  Aunt Karen took Rachel home in her rental car and Rachel had a great nap.

Back at work, I was panicked.  Rachel had seemed quite lethargic all morning and her fever raced back up as soon as her medication wore off.  Jason and I were due to leave town Thurs night to go away and have Aunt Karen stay at home to watch her.  Due to the recent lack of sleep and general craziness, our house was a mess and we were not very prepared for our trip.

I decided I could not leave town until I heard a doctor tell me that she would be ok.  So we were able to get an appointment for her Thurs night at 7:30pm.  We decided we would have Karen take Rachel to the doctor's, and we would start our 5 hour drive to Crested Butte.  If Rachel's condition seemed more serious, we would turn around and come home.

... for those of you who read Karen Oliver's blog, read it...

I will continue the rest of this story from our perspective on the way to Crested Butte, and let family members who know Karen read her version of the weekend on her blog.

... to be continued...