2003 to 2013 ... Can't believe it's been 10 years

I was at the library the other day with my girls and noticed something when I looked around at all the other parents... they all seemed kind of old.  You know, at least in their mid-thirties or older.  And then I realized something horrible - I look like that too!  The gray hairs are creeping in, I'm going to be 35 next year, and I'm no spring chicken.  Now, I don't believe age has much to do with anything - I've seen an 80 year old complete a marathon and I've treated 40 year olds that were weaker and in worse shape than a 94 year old patient I've had.

But the craziest thing about it being 2013 is that it's been 10 years since 2003.  Crazy, right?  Let me back you up to my 2003 and explain why that year was such a memorable one for me.

Jan 1, 2003 - wake up on Fraser Island, Australia, where I was traveling with two great friends, and enjoying the life of typical backpackers.
Live in Australia and train 3-4 times per day on and off the field hockey pitch until March.

April 2003 - Trip to Cuba.  Although I remember Cuba being filled with poverty, filth, injuries, illnesses, and theft... I was with some amazing people.  Aoibhinn, KT, Kristal, Steph J, Leslie, Julia, Forbes, Fausty, Sheena, Tinger, Buker, Deb Cuthbert, Dana, Rushton, Jenny J, Dr T.  As a player and a person, I had loads of confidence and fantastic friends beside me.

May 2003 - Trip to New Zealand.  What's not to love about playing hockey with friends in New Zealand?  Then a fun group of us went to a fantastic tournament called Cal Cup, and we had a blast.

June 2003 - won nationals in Edmonton playing for a BC side and felt like a rock star.

July 2003 - hosted a 4 nations tournament in Vancouver against Chile, Wales and Scotland in front of friends and family.  I was living in some 2 month sublet, basically out of a backpack, with very little money and very little responsibility.  Field hockey and friends related to field hockey meant everything to me.

August 2003 - Pan American Games in Santo Domingo.  This tournament served as a qualification for the 2004 Olympics in Athens, and we choked.  I was devastated.  My folks were there.  The guys also failed to qualify on the men's side.  It was hugely disappointing.  But being a part of a major games was still exciting.  Maybe not as amazing as my first major games (Commonwealth in 2002), but still exciting.  And I didn't know it at the time, but this would be my last major games.

We spent the fall of 2004 trying to rebuild our team and putting our sights toward the next World Cup.  We lost many athletes and our coach, and a new phase started.  I spent the fall working as a special needs para-educator in elementary schools and having fun with the team and friends in Vancouver.  I was trying to decide if being a physical therapist was what I really wanted to do and how I would make that work with my first passion of being a field hockey player.

Now, 10 years later, things are quite different.  I'm married to an amazing guy I didn't know anything about then.  We have two fun daughters and live in Colorado in a real house.  We have stuff accumulated and are reasonably settled.  There is no field hockey here.  I miss it and all those people that I knew then.  I see a handful of my old hockey friends every time I go home.  I am a physical therapist.  I'm trying to balance out my role as a mother with my role as a therapist.  I'm trying to get back into some level of shape after having Ava this past summer, but running a 5km under 30 min would be a challenge, and I'm embarrassed about that.  My daily excitement is laughing about something Rachel said, giggling with Ava, and trying to get out to exercise.  There's way less time for friends.  I'm not a part of a team in any way.  I dream of traveling and I hope to live out of a backpack again.  I think of those people that I knew that year so often, and wish I could see them more.

It makes me feel old.  Looking through my hockey albums makes me sad.  I wish I had more caps and had been to more major games.  I wish I could coach on the island and give back to all those people that taught me so much.  On paper, I really didn't do that much as a player on the junior or senior Canadian team or for my Vikes (college team).  But I loved it all.  I wish I could still play the sport I gave so much of myself to.

Next weekend, the Vikes will have a huge reunion weekend at the CIS championships.  Buzz, my college coach, will celebrate her 30th year and there will be a huge to-do for her and her program.  I wish I could go.  Buzz, her program, and my Vikes teammates were so huge for me in life.  I feel so distant from all this now.

Thankfully, when I look at my girls, I smile.  They fill that void in some other way, because they make my heart smile inside.