"I'm never doing that again!" Part Two (MOAB)

Sunday after Jason's race we packed up, said goodbye, and drove to Moab.  I almost did not go because I felt so fatigued from all that has been going on.  The idea of having the two girls by myself for 3 more nights/4 more days and driving quite a bit was not inviting.  But good friends of mine were getting married, on a Tuesday, and Jason had to work.  Since I did not have to work, I took the rare opportunity to go.

Driving there was good and we stayed in a lovely condo Sunday night with Julie's extended family.  We made dinner after a busy grocery store trip and ate well.  Rachel, Ava and I were all asleep by 8:30pm!

Monday we went to the pool and Ava slept poolside while I played with Rachel.  Then I packed up and drove into Arches National Park.  I had never been before, and was blessed to enjoy the scenery as I drove around and the girls napped.  I decided that I had to try a hike, and picked a 1.7 mile hike in to Landscape Arch.  I put Rachel in the ergo carrier on my back and Ava in the bjorn on my front.  I wanted to know if this was a possible set up entirely on my own.  If I had another helper to get me started, or a large pack for Rachel and the ergo for Ava, it would have been pretty easy.  But it was more comfortable than I expected, and I didn't have any troubles on the hike.  Everyone that passed me had some comment about carrying two kids.  I didn't have any means to carry extra stuff so had a water bottle in my hand and a phone in my pocket to take pictures.  Rachel hiked all the way back by herself without any issues, although she was slow because she wanted to jump off of every rock and point out every cactus and say hi to everyone on the trail.

That evening we moved into a different condo in the same complex with friends.  They have a 2.5 year old girl named Ella and a 2 month old boy named Everett.  Everyone was very tired and bedtime was epic for all, so we just crashed that night.

Ava, discovering hand, with Everett and Rachel

Tuesday was the day of the wedding.  We left for the ceremony shortly after 11am and started our hike in to Corona Arch at 12noon or so.  I knew the hike in was 1.5 miles, but didn't realize it was a technical and somewhat steep 1.5 miles.  When I had asked the bride about the possibility of taking a stroller on any portion of the hike she said she wasn't sure, so I took this possibility to mean that the hike had some flat parts.  Which was incorrect.  I had the same set up as the day before but also had a backpack with diapers, clothes, extra food, water, wipes, phone, etc.  It was about 80 degrees and gorgeous.  My phone died right away so I don't have many pictures, and hope I can snag some from friends.

Julie's Dad and friend help carry my stuff as we hike up into wedding area

Thankfully friends helped carry my backpack and held Rachel's hand while she hiked the last portion.  We arrived at the site of the ceremony - beautiful - and waited.  It was more crowded than expected because all the national parks were closed due to the federal government shut down, so many tourists picked this hike to explore instead.  The groom was on top of the arch setting up ropes for a rappel to occur after the ceremony, and the set up took quite a bit longer than expected.  Rachel played while friends helped keep her safe.  I cared for Ava, who was pretty fussy as we got closer to the ceremony.  Not for the first time in my life, I nursed Ava during the whole ceremony.  There were only about 10 guests watching, but it was stunning and wonderful.  I was glad to be there.

Two other women (Julie's great friends who had been told to help me with my kids!) hiked down with me and carried a tired Rachel down.  If it wasn't for them, I would not have known what to do.  I got the kids back to the condo and had a short play in the pool again before dinner.  Rachel was crazy hyper and zooming around too much for me to take her out, so I didn't go to the casual dinner part of the wedding.  We slept well that night.

Wed I left by 8:30am to drive home.  6 hours worth of driving, and all seemed like it was going well... until we hit construction at Iadho Springs.  It took so long to get through that part that I didn't make it home until 6:15pm, and we were all tired and hungry.  It was a pretty terrible afternoon/evening and I was exhausted.

I am pretty fatigued and tired of traveling with the two girls by myself.  I'm never doing that again.

Preschool Update

Although I missed it because I was stuck in traffic, Jason attended our first parent-teacher conference last night.  He had his own parent-teacher conferences to work around in order to go, but he made it.

We learned a few things about Rachel during this process.  She has been part of an evaluation process at school over the last few weeks, and has done well on all the elements.  The evaluation options for temperament are 'flexible', 'fearful', and 'fiesty'.  She falls into the 'fiesty' category of behavior type, which have descriptor words such as "...active, intense, distractible, sensitive, irregular, moody".  Jason and the teacher had a discussion about ways to best deal with children with this type of temperament.

A few of our questions for the school were answered, and have helped us change our thinking on some things:

THUMB SUCKING - although the dentist may not like it, the school sees it as a great way for Rachel to regulate her own level of arousal.  The school recommends that we don't worry about it and don't try to stop it or control it because it's probably helping Rachel cope very appropriately.  To us as parents, we are a bit relieved to hear this, because we were feeling a lot of pressure from people around us to somehow stop this habit.

NUNU - the school also has no problem whatsoever with Rachel wanting to be attached to her white blanket bear, Nunu.

DROP OFF - I (Meggan) still have a really hard time dropping Rachel off because Rachel attaches herself to some part of me and then I don't know how to escape.  I was encouraged to continue to be matter of fact and firm and leave quickly, and not be nice or nurturing or show any guilt about it.

NAP - We have been experimenting with shorter naps or no naps in order to make bedtime easier.  Preschool will support a shorter nap but does not want to eliminate nap at school because Rachel is still very tired after lunch and sleeps well.

HYPERACTIVITY / DISTRACTIBILITY - The school sees Rachel as behaving pretty typically for her age, and has no concerns with these behaviors at this time.

Rachel has been a delight lately, and has been a real help as a big sister and a good traveler.  We are looking forward to a terrific October without many travels and a 3rd birthday to celebrate soon!

"I'm never doing that again!" Part One (UROC)

Have you ever finished something, or woken up after a rough night, and declared "I'm never doing that again!"?

After Jason ran the White River 50 miler in 2009, when Rachel was 9 months old, I told Jason I wouldn't crew anymore because crewing with a child was too much work.  It's exhausting.  Even though Jason's mom was there that year, the emotion and long hours and unknown scheduling of an ultra is a tough thing to spectate.  I bounced and nursed and carried Rachel in my arms (sans carrier) while she slept at the bottom of a descent for nearly 3 hours while Jason was supposed to appear any minute.  I didn't want to put her down, feed her, change her, or transfer her in case I missed Jason because I was sure he would be the next runner.  But he had had a tough climb on the other side of the mountain and a long break at the aid station up top, and I didn't know it, but he was way behind what he thought.  He was just fine, and finished well in the end, but it was stressful.  At the end of the day, I declared "I'm never doing that again!"

Missing Jason's races and 'watching' from afar is tough, too.  Athlete trackers are poor and it's impossible to get information on him from anywhere, so no matter what I would be wondering how it's going and waiting for the end-of-the-race phone call that doesn't always happen right away.  Jason once drove nearly 3 hours after running the Stormy 50 miler with his cell phone on the windshield of the car while I was at a wedding.  Although he didn't know it, I kept calling him, dying to know if he had finished and was safe.  He was pretty out of it at the end of the race and didn't know about the phone there, and didn't think to call and reassure me, so I was sure he was out on the course, lost or injured.

Watching other races since has been more successful.  I had a great time watching him at Quad Rock last year and even enjoyed myself at San Juan Solstice last year, despite Jason having a tough day.  I think experience and starting to understand more about the ultra community and how races work has made it easier.  I have been really excited for Jason to run the 100km UROC and certainly encouraged him to sign up and train.

But last week, when he started going over the course, and saying he would need me to get him this gear at this aid station, and that gear and that aid station, I became anxious.  It's tough to depend on two young kids being able to get to a certain spot at a certain time.  Sometimes aid stations are not close to roads and parking, so hiking in and out of them with kids and stuff can be unreliable.  Thankfully, a friend named Eric agreed to be his official crew and a friend named Kate agreed to pace Jason for the last 10 miles.  I only really had to get Jason to the start and see him at the first aid station at mile 5.3, and then Eric could take over if needed.

Thursday I packed and got the car ready.  Friday I packed some more and drove up in the sleet.  Friday evening we drove Jason to the packet pick up without a lot of extra time.  I hadn't really reviewed the notes well and still wasn't sure about the course route or what Jason needed when.  Packet pickup was really stressful - just walking the kids across Vail Village in the sleet and having them all bundled up for the first time this year was a challenge.  Jason missed part of the race briefing because he was holding Rachel while I took care of a major Ava blowout.  Eventually, we got the kids to bed and I was able to review the notes of what I needed to do when.  But I was already exhausted, and didn't feel like I had the energy I needed for a big day.

 I was very anxious about the next 24 hours - I cannot describe the emotion involved for me in watching Jason do what he loves to do.  It's crazy.  Completely nuts to want to run for so long.  But it's what Jason loves.  He had worked really hard all year for this race.  I knew he had trained better for this race than any other race he had done since we'd had Rachel.  But I wasn't entirely sure how his body would hold up.  Would his knees cooperate?  Would his nutrition be ok?  The longest single run he'd done in preparation was 20 miles, and that's about the best he could do with his training.  But what would happen to his body in the remaining 42 miles?  Over 4 moutains? At altitude?  With new snow and really cold weather?  Jason didn't voice any concerns, and neither did I.  He seemed confident so I smiled and showed my genuine excitement.

Walking to the start in downtown Breckenridge

We checked out of the hotel by 6:15am on our way to the start in all our warm clothes.  As we were leaving the hotel, though, Rachel ran back into the elevator just as the door closed, and went for an elevator ride by herself.  I wasn't sure how to help her, and tried to keep talking to her as she went up a floor and then back down with a hotel staff member.  Eventually, we parked in town and then moved at toddler pace toward the start.  It was 26 F but promised to be a gorgeous sunny day.  There was no snow in town, which was a good thing.

Our family at the start

Ava all bundled up

The best I could get of Jason starting the run on Main St

As soon as they left I tried to rush Rachel back into the car.  She was tired and cold, but we had to get to that first aid station at 5.3 miles to be able to help Jason after the first climb.  He knew he would need to change layers after a big climb and there was no drop bag at that station, so it was our job.  I parked illegally so Rachel didn't have to walk too far, and put Ava in a carrier.  Rachel and I fought about her wearing her gloves, and she didn't want to hike up and see Daddy.  She couldn't stay in the car, I couldn't carry her, and there was no stroller access... so I forced her to walk and tried to motivate her with anything I could think of.  When we got there, she said she had to go potty.  Since no runners were in sight yet and we had a few minutes, we went into a real bathroom nearby and then came back to see runners going by.  Momentarily I panicked, wondering if Jason had come by while we were in the bathroom, but then calmed down and realized the people going by were the elite.

Local celebrity Anton Krupicka

Despite Rachel screaming and crying for many minutes, we managed to get Jason his stuff and get back to the car and the heater.  Rachel calmed down and fell asleep in her car seat on the way to Frisco.  Thankfully, Eric was in Frisco and we were able to park right beside the course, so I wouldn't need to get out of the car.  This let me stay warm, change Ava, and see all the runners while listening to kids music and keeping Rachel happy.  Runners coming through looked cold.  Jason came through mile 13.7 looking good, smiling, and having Eric's help at the aid station, but kept his warm layers on because it was still chilly.

Jason into Frisco

We got gas and went into Safeway to use the bathroom and get food from the deli.  We had lots of time on this part because we wouldn't see Jason again until mile 27.  He estimated that he would be there between 12:15-12:45pm.  The sun was warming up the valley so we were much more comfortable by the time we arrived in Copper Village to wait.  We got there at 11:30am just in time to see the leaders coming through.  They were an hour later than expected and saying it was cold and windy up high.  I knew Jason would be closer to 1:30pm, so we got comfortable and played outside for a while near the aid station.  Eric was there and we made friends with several people nearby.  Jason sent me a SPOT (satellite message) from mile 18 and even managed to text us just after 1pm with a progress report, so I was not concerned.  All the runners coming through commented on the wind, cold, or slippery snow.

Eric in Spider Man costume, Jason showing tired gait

Copper Aid Station

Copper Aid Station Mile 27

When I saw Jason, though, my heart sank.  I was not happy with his gait, and could tell that his right knee was hurting.  He still had 35 miles to go, so it seemed way too early to be limping.  After he went through I rushed the girls to the car and drove a little way up course to sneak a peek at him again, and continued to notice the little asymmetry as he favored his right side.  Not good.  My heart started to break as my fear grew that perhaps he would not be able to finish this race, and I willed him along the course.  He had a half marathon to run on the paved path up and over Vail Pass.  If his knee could make it through the pavement, he would be ok.  I checked my phone/email/ultralive obsessively from the top of Vail Pass (while the girls slept in the car), somehow hoping this might make him appear.  I called my friend Maggie, whose husband is an elite ultrarunner, and told her how nervous I was.  I texted Eric and told him I was concerned about Jason's knee and that we had to push him to finish.  I kept Kate posted on his progress because she needed to time her day to meet Jason later as his pacer.  Finally I saw Jason and he looked much better, but said he was having a hard time eating.  I ran with him a little and then drove ahead to meet him at the aid station.

Nearing Mile 33 at Black Lake on pavement section

Eric jogs Jason into aid station at Vail Pass

Rachel says hi to Daddy at Mile 33 (hat is blocking sun)

Mile 33.2 in 8 hours.  He had expected to be here between 5:40-7:25 hours.  He sat down at the aid station and needed calories and said his knee was sore.  He was getting tired of his gels.  I taped his knee.  Eric fed him some soup.  Jason kept going.  I knew that it was going to be a long day, and that the 17 hour cut off for earning the sought-after belt buckle was something to keep in mind.

We didn't expect to see Jason for a while, since the next accessible aid station was not until mile 52.5.  He had to finish the paved path and the enter the Two Elk Trail at mile 39.8.  He was supposed to send me a SPOT at that point.  He then had to climb up to the Two Elk Lodge at mile 44 before descending down to Minturn where we would meet him.

We went to our hotel and checked in.  We had picked the least expensive hotel we could that was as close to the finish line as possible.  Checking in and getting all our bags into the hotel room was a chore.  I started my trend for the day of ignoring Ava by ditching her in the room while Rachel and I made several trips out to the car and back for bags.  I was so glad to get out of the car and be able to spread our stuff out and stretch.  We were all able to change, eat, and Rachel was able to play with toys and blankets.  Kate, the pacer, came to the hotel, and introduced herself to me.  She found dinner and then we started discussing Jason's timing.

I didn't get a SPOT from Jason at mile 39.8 as expected.  (He had tried but it didn't come through.)  I wondered if he was really done and wasn't at that point yet... but he was still close to town and should have had cell service so I would have expected a phone call if there was a real issue.  We also hadn't received the mile 44 SPOT yet, so I knew he was struggling.  But then we wondered if maybe the SPOT batteries had died, and maybe he was doing ok.  Kate really didn't want to be late for him at Minturn and Ava really needed to nap, so we decided to get in the car and drive to Minturn.  It was getting dark and cold again.  Just as we pulled into Minturn with an unhappy and not sleeping Ava, Jason called.  Seeing his call scared me, because I didn't expect a phone call from him and thought he must be in trouble.  I didn't want to hear the words 'I'm stopping.'  But instead I heard wind and a tough connection...

"I'm just outside two elk and I'm cold.  I'm going to be a while.  I can't keep any food down.  But I want to push for that 17 hour belt buckle.  You are just going to have to forget about seeing me and put the girls to bed and give Eric all my warm clothes."

It was 7pm.  He was cold, throwing up and by himself as it was getting dark and he knew he was going to try and power hike for 5 more hours toward the finish to try and finish under 17 hours.  Wow.

After I hung up, I called right back.  He did mean two elk lodge, right?  He couldn't possibly mean he was just getting on two elk trail....  could he?  He didn't answer.  I assumed he meant two elk lodge, and I guessed he would be at Minturn by about 8:30pm.  I knew he had one small light in his bag at two elk lodge (mile 44) and I was glad.  I still didn't like that he was cold, tired, by himself, out of calories, in the dark with a sore knee... I wish he had been able to pick up a pacer at Mile 44 to help him in the dark... but I was proud that he was still going.  I dropped Kate off with Eric and went back to the hotel with the girls.

We warmed up at the hotel and got everything ready for bed.  Then I packed up all the warm stuff I could and Jason called again.  He said he couldn't really run but was power hiking forward and was going to keep going.  We got in the car and drove to Minturn (mile 52.5).

Kate and Eric were there.  Kate looked cold and anxious.  I wasn't entirely sure she knew what she was doing, as she had never paced before and never been a part of an ultra before, and I was nervous that she was going to freeze.  But she said she liked running in the dark, and she and Jason had run together in the dark on many Wed nights with their group.  (Okay.  Another crazy person).  Eric was a pro.  An elite u;trarunner himself, he was loving life and psyched for any runner that came through the aid station.  He knew just what Jason needed to hear and how to help him.  At this time, there were not that many people around and things were quiet.  Once in a while a light would appear, and we would hope it was Jason, and then we would cheer on whatever runner that appeared.  I was in the car with the girls and Kate.  Eric ran up the road to try and find Jason.

Jason and Eric appeared and J seemed determined to get out of there and get closer to the finish.  It was just before 9pm when he left the aid station, and Kate seemed stoked.  Jason was shuffling along and didn't look too bad.  He said the tape helped his knee and he was able to eat some bread.

I went back to the hotel, put the girls to bed, and dozed on and off in between facebook updates.  I knew Jason wanted me to come to the finish, but I wasn't sure how to coordinate that with the kids, with the cold and layering, and with an unknown time.  Plus, I was exhausted and knew that Jason would need taking care of when he did finish.  So I wasn't disappointed when he called and he had already finished.  I was thrilled that he had done it, and had finished in 16:51, and could still walk and talk.

Kate (left) and Jason (right) at finish 11:54pm

Kate left and Eric walked Jason back to the hotel.  Jason did not feel well (duh) and lay down, feeling nauseous.  I eventually got him to have a bath, change, drink some water, and go to sleep.  The girls kept sleeping through all that.

Jason got up the next morning and said "We're never doing that again.  Next time one of us does a major race, we have to get a family member to come to town to help.  It's just too much.  We're both exhausted."

I am extremely proud of Jason and this huge accomplishment.  It was a tough day and it did not go as he planned.  He spent miles 33-52 suffering from 3pm until 8:45pm by himself making it happen with one foot in front of the other.

I want him to race again.  We just need a larger crew next time!