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| Rachel shops for rocks in our front yard (wearing no pants) |
A few background notes:
1) My birth with Rachel was quite fast, so we would expect this upcoming birth to be quite fast or faster.
2) 4 weeks ago today, we were told that I was already 2 cm dilated and 70% effaced, and could very well go into labor at any time. My doctor asked us not to go more than 45 min from the hospital and to make sure everything was ready. This news was exciting but put a bit of panic into the idea of working with patients for the whole month of June and what we might do with Rachel should things start happening.
3) I became significantly less comfortable in my own body as the temperature was VERY hot for the last 3 weeks and my energy level has dropped. I was having frequent dizzy spells and not feeling myself at all.
4) We decided to have Nana change her flight to come and visit from June 25th until June 22nd to give us a few extra days of help. She doesn't have a return ticket and is hanging out as needed until it's appropriate to book a ticket home.
5) I started having more significant Braxton-Hicks contractions over the last 1-2 weeks, often keeping me awake for good stretches at night wondering if I was going to go into real labor, but nothing has happened.
6) After contractions and dizziness became more of an issue, I decided not to work anymore as of June 27.
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| 39 weeks and enjoying ice cream straight from the carton |
So, here we are. 3 adults in a house with one toddler. Jason is off for the summer as a teacher and trying to get some work planning done at school here and there. Jason hasn't been able to run long distances for the last month because I have been wanting him to be available quickly should labor start. We don't want to go far from the house. We don't want to make plans or appointments. Every few hours we wonder 'will this be the big day?'
Since she has been here, Nana has made cookies/muffins/bread with Rachel, mended many clothes, made 2 sets of curtains, cleaned our whole house, read with Rachel, painted with Rachel, and tried to give us extra time to rest. We had a whole list of things we had hoped she could do while she was here, and the list is complete.
Rachel is loving all the attention, but continues to still have moments where she will only accept mommy and not do anything or accept anything from Nana or Daddy. This dynamic is one we struggle with and aren't sure how to best deal with on an ongoing basis.
Thankfully, a few things have been in our favor. The temperature is much better than it was - 80F today instead of some of the 95F or higher temps we had before. I had a great night's sleep last night with no contractions and no interruptions from Rachel - both a first for a while.
Rationally, we all know that the baby will come when the baby is ready. That's a good thing. We actually aren't that caught up in the fact that July 4th is the due date - we know that's a rough guess only. But each week of getting checked and being 'further along' with more dilation and being told it could happen at any time... and being told that it's going to be fast... and being told that we should consider getting to the hospital pretty quickly... that's a tough thing to live with. For me, for Jason, and even for Nana and all the people waiting on the news.
We've been going out to the Butterfly Pavillion, different rec centers and libraries, creeks, parks, short walks, short runs for Jason, the zoo, museums, etc. And here we are complaining about it! (Well, the adults are complaining. Rachel is not.)
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| Smock from Aunt Karen |
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| Naked under the smock for painting! |
I have often joked that this stage of pregnancy is like having trained for a big race without a known start time. I've been 'training' for 10 months. My body is huge and all is ready. We've taken the classes, read the stuff, have everything packed, all is prepared, got all the gear. At any time, the starting whistle may go and then you must take off and go hard, go long, and have one of the biggest challenges that your body will ever face. I've been ready for the whistle to go at any hour of the last 4 weeks. That's a pretty tiring mental state to keep up. And more and more recently, it seems that it is unlikely that there will be a warm up, but that I will be asked to sprint as soon as it's time to start and go hard from there. Do you just keep eating and sleeping and waiting? Do you take off into the mountains and do fun things anyway, and just hope for the best? Do you use up your energy with your toddler and household chores and activities or conserve your energy just in case?
So, we are trying to be patient. It's out of our hands. I'm not interested in trying to rush things along in any way because I believe it's healthiest to let things happen naturally. And I actually don't mind being pregnant - I'm one of the lucky ones that have enjoyed being pregnant. I know I will miss this monstrous belly and feeling the baby kick me. I'm also quite aware of what the first few weeks of having a newborn might include, and that I should just cherish my rest and boredom right now. I think if Nana hadn't had to fly here and live with us while we wait, and lived just a phone call away to come over to be with Rachel when it's time... that would be quite a bit easier. Less pressure on us to get this whole thing going while we have organized help. Less feeling of time wasting.
We are trying to enjoy these special moments with Rachel, because we won't have this dynamic with her ever again.
But it is what it is. And the baby will come when it wants to come. And we will be ready. And excited! And we will fall in love with it more than one ever thought possible as soon as we get to see it and hold it.
And Rachel will wonder what happened to all that attention!
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