The Terrific Twos

An update on our crazy world and our crazy kid...

Pregnancy
I'm 18 weeks along, feeling well, and all seems fine. I'm just starting to show and think I've felt a bit of movement from the baby.  We have an ultrasound next week but won't be finding out the gender.  I keep hoping to join a prenatal yoga class, but so far I've been to just one.

Rachel's fun and favorite things
Rachel is really hilarious, and makes us laugh every day.  She's really interested in singing the ABCs, trying to count everything, trying to recognize letters and numbers, putting her dolls or any object to sleep under many blankets, hanging up clothing on a clothes hanger, pooping in the middle of the night, reading books, being chased, eating, snuggling.

Snuggling is, in fact, such an interest of hers that it is a serious workout to detach her monkey arms and legs from my body if I want to get anything done.  For the last 5 weeks, every minute that I have been home she has been attached to me or crying or asleep or strapped into a car seat or her eating chair.  The last two nights finally seem to have seen a renewed interest in regular play and hanging out with Daddy.

Things she is not so interested in: sleeping, wearing clothes, having anyone wash/rinse/touch/brush/style her hair, wearing enough clothing appropriate for a cold winter, staying in her bed, sleeping under blankets, going anywhere in a hurry, transitioning from one activity to another, using the potty, having her diaper changed, wearing shoes, wearing socks, wearing a coat.

Rachel is being a very typical 2 year old only child that is running the show.  She is very particular about how things have to go, and we try to pick our battles.  For example, it's ok with us that she'll only eat her bagel when it flies across the room, makes plane noises, spins around, and lands on a green plastic plate that's just in the right place on her place mat.  And if she take 40 minutes to get dressed when we have to leave for school, a full wrestling match and serious pressure to keep her down so we can get her dressed is appropriate even if she's screaming the whole time and spends the next 5 minutes undressing the newly donned clothes while I try to buckle her car seat or chariot buckle over her first.

I think it's fair to say that she usually wins, and is succeeding in the 2 year old attention seeking and parent manipulating behaviours... it's hard to keep up and stay one step ahead of her.

Jason's job
Is crazy busy.  Jason is teaching blocks 2,3,4,5,6,7 and not teaching blocks 1 or 8 this semester, which means he gets no lunch and no social time with other teachers.  He has frequent evening meetings, early morning meetings, lunch meetings, field trips, conferences out of town.  He's even going to California in April to take some kids to a national conference.  He's in charge of the school credit union, school store, FBLA and DECA clubs.  He's the tech rep (computer geek for other teachers who can't use computers) and a 'google ninga' (some other dorky computer geek thing that helps other teachers).

Other teachers love him and he's great at his job, but we're looking for ways to make next year less hectic so he isn't always on the go all over the place.

Meggan's job
Business is booming at Altitude PT.  Since early December, our phones have been ringing like crazy and it's been hard not to work overtime every week.  I'm often behind.  I've recently put the word out there that I need to slow down, change my schedule, and cut back in some way because it's too much.  Although I'm really proud of myself for this, it's hard to know quite how it will actually play out.  I've cut back my hours starting the week of Feb 18.  However, I might move those hours over to Friday just to be able to avoid working nights and see Rachel more in the evenings.  If I don't add hours on Friday, I will lose my benefits, make less obviously, and have to pay to join Jason's health insurance plan.

We are still discussing what my job options will be after my unpaid 12 week mat leave June 19-Sept 30.  I'm aiming to work 3 mornings per week, but this may or may not be possible.

I have my board exams on March 15 and feel quite behind in my review.  I have been working hard a putting in hours of study time, but it never feels like it's enough and each week I fall further behind.  I need the next 6 weeks to be very disciplined.

Sleeping
Sleeping is still a disaster, but we do have a few coping strategies that are making life a little easier.  We are taking turns sleeping in the guest room bed in the basement, so that at least every other night one of us gets to sleep.

As far as strategies go, it feels like we have tried everything.  Bringing her into our bed, sleeping beside her, leaving her to cry, ignoring her crying for hours, locking her in her room, lights on, lights off, fan on, fan off, stuffed animals in, stuffed animals out, noise on, noise off, night light on, no night light, heater on, heater out, many layers of clothing, different blankets in different locations, etc.

She is good at stalling, and will make many requests to try and get an adult to stay with her longer.  Requests can include the following, to which we try and say 'No, Rachel, it's night night time."  Over and over and over.
"Hug me!"
"I want to snuggle in the chair"
"I pooped in my diaper"  (true about half the time)
"I need something from my playroom"
"I want the fan off"
"I'm cold"
"I want a bagel"
"I'm hot"
"I need a drink of water"
"Do you want to put my blankets on me?"
"I want my step stool"
"I want my light on"
"I want to read stories"
"I want to play"
"I want to sleep in your bed"
"I don't want to sleep"

We have tried two different things recently.  First, we put her crib back together yesterday.  Although she had slept well in her day bed from August until November, a crib seemed like a much easier option for us.  The railings would force her to sleep in her crib, possibly putting her closer to her blankets and keeping her warm.  Plus, to go in and check on her I could use my voice to calm her and perhaps a quick peek to inspect her diaper, without having to pick her up.  If she is asleep on the floor, opening the door requires a pick up and it can take major effort, injury, and screaming to pry her clinging arms off me when I try to leave the room.  So last night, the crib seemed to be a great idea.  This evening, however, she figured out how to climb out of it and I only had the energy to put her back in it 4 times in a row before giving in to the idea that she will sleep on the floor forever more.

The second thing we started trying tonight is a bedtime snack.  Many people have asked if Rachel might be hungry in the night.  Possibly.  Certainly we know Rachel has a crazy metabolism, eats frequently, eats well, and often eats quite a lot.  We know Rachel has had trouble getting through phases before because she was hungry.  Solving this one is a little tricky though, and requires more effort in our evening routine than we might be able to keep up with.

I'll explain.  Jason picks Rachel up 3 nights per week while Meggan works late and he and Rachel get home by about 5:30pm.  If dinner is not ready to go in 3 minutes, Rachel is given a snack because she is hungry and because she is then strapped into her chair and Jason can go about making dinner.  Often dinner is not ready until after 6pm, and then it takes 30 minutes for Rachel to eat it.  Let's assume dinner is over at 6:30pm.  We usually play for a while and then start bedtime routine at about 7:20pm so that Rachel can have lights out and scream at her door ... oops I mean 'sleep'... by 8pm.  So when do we fit in bedtime snack?  The ideal answer is to have her eating dinner at 5pm, but that really isn't realistic 3 nights per week.  So if we can get meals prepped the night before or the weekend before and have them all cooked, then Rachel could eat proper dinner by about 5:40pm.  She could then have bedtime snack at 7:30pm, and perhaps this would help her get through the night.  We're hoping to try harder to have meals cooked ahead of time and try bedtime snack.  This requires major organization - something we've really lacked recently.

Potty training
You may remember we were relatively successful with our first potty training attempt, which Rachel initiated stubbornly on her 2nd birthday in October.  She did quite well until about mid November, when things all fell apart and she refused to use the potty and requested diapers again.  Daycare was struggling with forcing her on to the potty, so we all agreed to revert back to diapers and try again later.
Daycare recommended a 30 day countdown calendar.  Every day we put a sticker on a calendar to count down to the BIG day on which Rachel would wear underpants and only wear diapers at night.

We started the 30 day countdown at the beginning of January, and the BIG day will be this Friday, Feb 1st.  We're terrified and pessimistic because Rachel's sleeping is going so badly that it doesn't seem like a great time to ask anything of her and we have no patience.  We're praying that, but some miracle, this one thing will be a success and that February will be the start of a whole new world for Rachel.

Fun and Exercise
Jason runs Wed nights and occasionally gets another 15-20 min run in around the neighbourhood.  I've been to one yoga class in the last month, been for 3 runs less than 20 min, been on the bike trainer 2 times, and today I swam 1000m.  First swim in almost 6 months and felt great!  We have skied 3-4 days, walked a bit, and I went snowshoeing with Rachel last weekend.  I'd say we're in about the worst shape of our lives.

The local resorts have finally had some snow recently and we are planning to head up this weekend, despite the difficulty it might pose on potty training.  We are hoping to get some downhill skiing in and try to resume a more regular workout routine of some kind next month.

Mental Health
As you can tell, we're struggling a little.  Each day we remind ourselves that all the important things are good.  We're all healthy.  We have a lovely house.  We're each lucky to have jobs.  We love each other.  We have loving friends and family.  Rachel is a delight and a blessing, even though it is fun to laugh at all the challenges she poses.  We're a little bit apprehensive about the upcoming few months, and hoping that our sleeping world can improve before a newborn arrives on the scene and guarantees us disturbed sleep for some months to come.

Thanks for reading this far and sharing in the joys, adventures, and struggles in our lives.  I do my best to make these things funny, since it's my only hope right now in getting through each day.  This blog is our best way to stay connected to friends and family and to give some honest insight and reflection to our own lives.

Wishing you all a fabulous February!